Read this if u dare

I dare u

why didnt anyone read this i said i dare u... oh yeah i havnt wrote anything one secound why cant i think of anything to say hold on i got it...
HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DARE U TO READ THIS AND NOT LAUGH AT ALL
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”



This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….”

READ THIS AND GO AHEAD AND LAUGH ALL U WANT
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, "How long have you been wearing that bra?" The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment."

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
"I think my friend is dead!" he yells. "What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Okay, now what?"

Two men are parashooting out of a plane one is smart the smart one is not that smart either, one is dumb the dumb one has the parashoot {not very smart} They jump out of the plane and the smart one says we are 500 feet above the ground i think we should use the parashoot now the dumb one says no not yet
A few secounds later the smart one says we are 300 feet above the ground i think we should really open the parashoot now. the dumb one says no not yet.
A few secounds later the smart one says we are 50 feet above the ground i think we should open the parashoot now the dumb one says nope not yet. 1 secound later the smart one says we are 3 feet above the ground we really really need to open the parashoot now. the dumb one says no i can jump from here.

Three men are flying in an airplane they drop a quarter out the window and land they find a little girl crying they ask her whats wrong and she says a quarter fell out of the sky and hit my daddy and he died. THey go back flying and the drop a penny out of the plane they land and find a grandma very happy they ask her whats up she says i was at my doctors and he was making me so made telling stuff about her that she didnt want to here and a penny broke the window and killed the doctor. They go back flying and they drop a bomb out the window when they landed they found a little boy rolling on the floor laughing they ask him whats so funny he says my dad was mowing the lawn and he farted and the house blew up. =P